Sunday, December 21, 2003
Guys, we don't pray together. Has anyone noticed that lately? We really need to fix that. Cause if we aren't praying together, we're leaving the most important part out. Whaddaya think?
Anyways, church was insane for me today. the part afterwards anyways. my mentor Erv Rolfes kicked my butt. I've realized that there is sooo much about me that you guys don't know. Who i used to be and what i used to love. Its intimidating and sad all at the same time to realize this. Erv looked at me today and told me to stop wussing out. Where was the girl he knew who was so full of spirit and fight? Where did the fight go? Where are those dreams that drove me forward. What about the girl who would spend any chance possible to be with God. I'm not her anymore and he could see it in my eyes. The worst part is that he's so right. He's gentle and kind and never says a word unless he believes it to be necessary. and I know it. He's so right. I need to start talking about my life before you knew me. To see what happened and how to rebuild my desire to follow the heart of God. I spend so much time hiding from him instead of being with him. Ultimately its because i don't want to have to face any of the "failure" that i have felt when I was youth pastoring. You guys all at least know that i was once a youth pastor right? I hope I mentioned that. Anyways, I bet i'm not alone in the needing to be spurred on area. Feel free to respond. Actually, Andrew i kind of feel like i'm responding to your earlier blog. Thanks by the way, its made me think alot. So yeah, what about you guys? Where are you at?
