Thursday, January 01, 2004
2004 - weird
So a bunch of people came over last night, all of whom attend my church here. The new pastors were here as well. I heard them talk about the young adults and different funny stories that happen with them. The thing is, i wasn't involved in the conversation. I was on the outside. AND THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT MY YOUTH GROUP. The short ones who were in and out of my office on an irritatingly daily basis. The kids who called in the middle of the night. The kids who cried on my shoulder and i felt their tears run down my own cheek. And now they aren't so much kids anymore. In fact, they are so much leaders in the youth group because they aren't even in the youth group anymore. And it was like i never happened. But I DID! I put my heart and soul into them. I loved them with every little bit of me. They remember of course. The stories are still there and those I never even knew know of me. But it hurt. alot. Not because anyone did anything wrong, but because it's like my time is forgotten by the adults who love them now. I'm thankful that these now young adults (still so weird cause i'm still so young - i was only a kid myself, 20 in fact) are so loved and taken care of. In fact its an answer to prayer, one that i would have loved to see more of while i was here.
Its sad to me that times in our lives that impact us greatly can be made smaller by people who weren't there. The thing is that i want to be part of everything again. I miss these people, knowing them, loving them, having them know me. Life is so different here. Anything can happen. The extraordinary happens on a daily basis, even in the smallest sense.
And why is it that I haven't desired the extraordinary in the longest time, when I used to live in it every day?
