Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Did any of you know that Quentin Tarantino directed an episode of ER? Crazy.
I hate money, by the way. Not that I have it, or more like it, don't have it. This isn't going to be a rant about what rich people do with their money, or how poor people don't have any. Money makes life annoying as hell.
So, I'm watching American Idol today (correction: Mom was watching it, I was reading the newspaper). The real show wasn't on, of course, only the show where they pansy about to kill half an hour before telling you how everybody voted. I mean, seriously, come one the air for 5 minutes and tell us, but of course, they need to have this show to shamelessly sell merch and make loads off of ads, which are not few and far between to say the least. Did I mention that this show is now A WHOLE FREEKING HOUR LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
And what occurs on this hour-long show? Well, they spend at least 10 minutes telling the contestants what the judges said the night before, as if they had forgotten. And after each telling, they threaten them with being in the "Bottom 2," but before telling them, there is the obligatory commercial break. Talk about rape and plunder, using these kids to make a quick buck, and then the winner (and many of the runners up) get to make records to make more money for them.
I couldn't quite tell you what happens for the rest of the show. I mean, the singing and the contest and all that jazz happened the night before. This isn't really even part of the contest. Nobody is judged (just rejudged), but because American Idol is a popularity contest and not a singing contest, they can't use this time to get to know the contestants any better, lest America finds them boring and average. So we watch a show, several times a week, an hour per episode, spending time with these people for weeks, and never get to know them. It's like an awful sitcom; worse, it's an awful soap opera. At least they have 'characters.'
Oh, of course, American Idol has characters. There's Simon, who's an ass until the competition gets serious, then he's the only one who tries to offer CONSTRUCTIVE and HONEST criticism. But of course you can't hear truth through all the boos of public opinion. Damn democracy!! Then there's the bozo twins, who have a collective vocabulary of about 15 words, none of which are controversial, or even interesting. I'm sure a conversation between said bozos goes like this:
Dog!
I know, that was really you.
But Dog, yo!
And who benefits? Not our friend William Hung. Of course not. He's just another victim, stripped of his soul and dignity, and for what? I would say money and fame, but he won't get any of that, not really. Just like us to pick on a guy like that. And the worst part of it all, considering I am helpless in this situation, is that I participated in this mockery. An innocent person would have nothing to complain about, because he wouldn't know any better. So I admit it, I lost my virginity long ago, my purity gone in one foul swoop by money sucking network execs. Yeah, they screwed me real good. And what did I get out of all this? What does anybody really get?
Not a damn thing! But I, I managed to get one thing out of this debacle: I got angry.
"Now I’m stuck with this ring
And riders in black won’t leave me alone
Me and eight of my friends
Went on a road trip
We met the Balrog, and Gandalf died
(Sam’s Crying)
Boromir lunged at me so I had to decide"
"Hey, look I’m invisible
But now I must walk into Mount Doom
Sauron is invincible
He’s putting up a fight
If quests were untakable
Then I could relax home in Hobbit land
I would give the ring to Sam
And he’d be invisible
But wait- who’d water my plants?"
