Sunday, May 30, 2004
I have just lost a lot of respect for the Toronto Blue Jays organization. Seventh inning stretch - Take Me Out to the Ballgame, performed by William Hung. What's next, him singing O Canada at the Maple Leafs game?
In other news, 6 killed in tragic monorail failure...
Every hear the theory about the peanut butter-cat monorail? If you drop a cat, it lands on its feet. If you drop toast with peanut butter, it lands on the buttered side. Strap the two together, back-to-back, and if neither can land properly, then they must never land. Therefore, they will float, and a monorail can be built using this principle. Brilliant in concept, but today, I dropped said piece of toast, and watched it fall, in slow motion. What I saw stunned me. It began to flip, as if following the universal laws of physics previously described. At the apex of the flip, however, unexplained circumstances causes the motion to reverse itself, and a safe landing was achieved. No mess! No monorail!
I had a dream the other night where I was eating several pieces of toast with peanut butter. I had noticed in real life that I can't get the peanut butter on the toast without getting some on my hands. It happens everytime. In my dream, however, I accomplished this unbelievable feat, only to realize that I had buttered both sides of the every piece of toast. What a mess that made! Glad I didn't drop any.
This morning, I woke up at 7:30! On my own, no alarms, no noises, nothing. If I hear a single person say anything about me becoming a morning person, I will kill them.
"So needless to say
I'm odds and ends
But that's me stumbling away
Slowly learning that life is OK.
Say after me
It's no better to be safe than sorry"
"Take on me, take me on
I'll be gone
In a day or two"
