Friday, May 21, 2004
Welcome to the worst week of my life!
Well, perhaps that is a bit of an exaggeration, but at times, that has been the best way to describe it. The last few weeks not only included the end of the school year, moving into a new place with new rooommates and living on my own for the first time, starting a brand new job that involves physical labour - something I am not used to, the return of someone very special to me who has been across the world for a year...but also a miraculous breakdown in communication between me and all of my friends. The thing is that none of it was from my side, but indirectly I was greatly affected by it all. Some of it was unavoidable - such as people not having phone lines available to them. But the rest of it was miscommunication, or simply, no communication at all. Nothing causes hurt feelings or upset people like the lack of communication. Here's my advice for next time: Don't assume going behind your friends' backs is the best solution. Even when it's supposed to be in their best interest, sometimes its better just to tell them what you are planning to do. It can save a lot of hurt and misunderstandings.
Friendships do have a certain amount of politics to them. I was discussing this the other day. Sometimes friends need a break from each other. Sometimes little things that annoy you about one of your friends get blown out of proportion if they do something that is actually hurtful. It can bring up all the other times they ticked you off...even if at the time, those things were not a big deal. But when you love your friends, it's easy to forgive and forget. There are times, however, when we need to tell our friends that we have been hurt by them. Distinguishing when these kind of issues should be dealt with, and when one is just having a bad day can be hard sometimes. But we shouldn't be afraid to let our friends know how we are feeling. If they really are friends, they should care enough.
Another thing, sometimes people want to hang out with some people and not others. This should not be a problem. Except that I think friends should think about each other once in a while. And if they know that they are doing something (different than usual) that someone else would love to be doing, they should maybe think about how that other person is going to feel. This doesn't mean they have to cater to that person, but they should perhaps communicate to their friend what is going on. I think friends understand if others just want to hang out with certain people, and that is okay. Communication is just the key.
Maybe I'm too idealistic. I care about my friends a whole, whole lot. And I do think they care about me too. Sometimes I just wish they would check on me. Like when I'm having one of the worst weeks of my life...it just would have been nice. Not that I do expect them to read my mind all the time. But I do hope they know me well enough to know when I'm having a real rough time.
Okay. Enough for now. Just as an aside, for the most part, I do think that I have the best friends a girl could ever ask for. It's just been one of those weeks.
