Monday, June 07, 2004
I've been feeling really depressed lately and its stupid. I don't have good reason. I realize that I could fall back on the chemically unbalanced thing, but I don't like that. I've been pondering the horrible situation of the world and looking for things that make me think deeply about such. This is definitely the best way to keep oneself chipper and cheerful. Ugh. I've come to realize that I have this unrealistic expectation that I should be somber about the state of the world, thus keeping myself realistic about life in general. But God gives reason for joy. Yet I find myself feeling more "righteous" when I dwell on the negative. As though all of these thoughts will somehow change the state of those around me. Also, I've been feeling like my prayers are too many and answers too few. I've asked God to teach me more about faith. I realize that this will likely get me into trouble. I'll be stronger, but not for lack of tribulation. Any thoughts from anyone out there?
Today a customer came to me miffed because there seemed to be less room at the boardroom table than usual. So she asked "has the boardroom table shrunk?". I answered back "no, I'm pretty sure the table hasn't shrunk". Oh, the look on her face was priceless when she realised how stupid the question was. I love when people come to complain about stupid things.
