The Legoland Convention

Alas, and alack a day! Every year since I've been a Christian (about 5 now) I've attended Midnight Mass with my best friend Eugene. He's not a Christian, but grew up in a Catholic church, so this is why we go. Other friends have occasionally come with us, but at least the two of us have gone every year. Until this year. He kind of bailed, and it made me sad. He had good reason, I understand why he missed it this year, but I was disheartened by the break in the tradition. I feel like I have so few good solid traditions, and this was one of them.

When my first child is born, I'm going to buy the tackiest Christmas sweater possible, and I'm going to where it every Christmas day. I find some comfort in that thought.

I have now return to Abbotsford. This is not particularly comforting. It reminds me that the end is near. This time, I hope I get it right. I guess I should be thankful for second chances, but somehow they mean another chance to fail. No, not this time though. As the bowl of petunias once said, "Oh no, not again."

Now is the time for New Year's Resolutions. I rarely make them, and even more seldom do I keep them. I have made several this year, however. Mostly short-term, but important steps for me nonetheless. For one, I'm giving up candy and chocolate and other such things. Not completely, of course, but the sugar hurts my teeth. So why bother? I'm currently being tempted by chocolate I got for Christmas. It's just sitting there, on the table, wanting to be eaten.

The others are more important, more personal. They are tests of my courage and humility. Tests that I usually fail. I have made some important, but tentative decisions. It feels good, but agonizing at the same time. Some decisions can't be reversed, and the thought of closing doors behind me makes me shudder. Also difficult is simply waiting for decisions to pan out, or waiting for the time to follow through, even though I've made the decision. Some decisions are dilemmas, and I don't know where to go. I hear it is easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission. I hope that's a principle I don't put into practice.


"It's been a long road
Gettin from there to here
It's been a long time
But my time is finally here
And I will see my dreams come alive at night
I will touch the sky
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No they're not gonna change my mind"

"'Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me"