Monday, May 23, 2005
Why are you up?
Brrrring. Brrrring. The phone rang, to the surprise of everyone in the room. It seemed as if more people stood around the transmitter than all the people listening on the radio put together. No one was even sure anyone was out there. Was anybody listening? Did anybody care? But everyone who cared to listen made the trek to the small studio in Studio 314. Almost everyone.
Brrrring. The room was quite crowded. Two computers hummed in one corner, as several people argued what to do next. A rather slim man lay hurt on the ground, with three larger men were laughing and sitting on his chest and legs. His face was red from asphyxiation, but he would later be okay. One person had the presence of mind to pick up the phone before the voice mail kicked in. What kind of call-in show had a four-ring voicemail?
"Hello, why are you up?"
"I wanted to make a request," the lone listener, a woman, began. The DJ looked about the room and was reminded that all in his presence were male, 20-somethings acting like 8 year-olds, as a group of 20-somethings males were want to do in the wee hours of the night.
"Hello?" The sexy voice snapped the DJ's attention back to where it should be. Suddenly realizing how lonely he was for the company of a girl, he wished she could be here now. Whoever she was. On second thought, scratch that; he didn't want her to see him like this, horsing around in his underwear with a bunch of guys.
"Uhhh, sorry," the DJ apologized lamely, "what would you like to hear? I'll see if we have it."
"I'd like to hear 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' please."
The DJ mentally perused the limited library of songs on the computer. It was a pitiful radio show, really. The call-in aspect was a complete joke; at least 95% of requests went unfulfilled. In fact, more calls had been received during last week's 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' segment than all other calls put together. In the first ten minutes of the half-hour segment, more than a dozen calls were received, requesting that 'Hitchhiker's' be taken off the air because it was, how they boorishly put it, boring. That particular request was fulfilled, unlike this one.
"I'm sorry. We don't seem to have that song in our library. If you could send us a copy, we could properly oblige your request next time."
"Great. Just great. All I wanted was a little sleep. And if the damn lion can't sleep in the jungle, how the hell am I going to sleep tonight either? How is it that you take requests when you never have the -"
"Thank you for calling 'Why are you up?'" The DJ cut her off, then hung up. He was glad that the calls weren't on live radio, not that it wouldn't have made an entertaining 10 seconds for his one listener, who happened to be on the phone with him. Until he hung up on her, that is.
Momentarily feeling guilty, he said to himself, "It wouldn't have worked anyway. If she can bitch that much about one stupid song, she'd clean rip my head off if I made a mistake in a relationship. Note to self: radio is not a way to meet girls." Neither was the phone, as this young DJ would soon learn, but that is another tale for another day.
Random beatings with Monte continued in the background, unnoticed by the DJ. Instead, a song was stuck in his head.
"In the jungle the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight
In the jungle the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight"
"Near the village the peaceful village the lion sleeps tonight
Near the village the peaceful village the lion sleeps tonight"
"Hush my darling don’t cry my darling the lion sleeps tonight
Hush my darling don’t fear my darling the lion sleeps tonight"
