The Legoland Convention

I GOT A KEYBOARD FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!
(those are excited capital and exclamation marks, in case anyone is confused...not angy, just excited)

I have a friend named Zenon. Zenon Mandella Gabriel John Seedhouse. At least that's what his name was when I met him. I thin it's changed now if I remember correctly. It was such a great name I memorized it almost instantly. Such a nice ring to it. I wish my parents were hippies too. Well, I guess all I can do is strive to be a hippie myself and give my kids great names. I wish I could be more of a hippie. I always aspire too, but most of the time I am too ordinary. That and I like the cute girl look more than the travelling vagabond. Somewhere inbetween the two would be perfect. I find the balance sometimes, but it's hard to always maintain. The dreads certainly helped. And the VW bus is good too. Working at a coffee shop goes with the description, though Starbucks is not exactly hippy-ville. I think if we travelled more that would be good too. But then there's the whole pot-smoking side of hippies that I am not quite into. I like the outdoorsy, naturally living, healthy eating sides...just not the pot-smoking.

Sometimes I wish I could just spend my life travelling around. Going place to place and meeting people and seeing how they live. But other times I feel like such a homebody. I have the need to feel settled. When I move to a new place I can't do anything until I'm unpacked. I even have a hard time sleeping until I am. I guess I have somewhat of a hard time adjusting to change (don't laugh too hard Ha). It's weird being here in Kelowna. Sometimes I feel settled and other times I feel so out of place. It seems like settling into marriage was the easiest part (not that it doesn't have its own, shall we say, difficulties at times). But Kelowna, and work, and church and friends has been soooooo tough! At times I feel pretty good about it, but then, Dan goes away for a weekend and I feel like I am the loneliest person on earth! I have no one to call...except his parents, but I'm talking about friends my own age. On a side note, today I had my korean lesson with Dan's mom. And after she made me go say hi to his dad who was working in a motel room. And it was so great! I walked in and was like "apa?" (which is Korean for dad). And he was all happy to see me and we had a good conversation, which doesn't usually happen. I never know what to say to him. It was just a very cool thing. Anyways, back to the friend thing. HOW DO YOU MAKE FRIENDS??? Maybe I need to be more patient, but I'm getting tired of it. I want real friends, not work or church acquaintances. And I guess it's hard too because I am pretty content with my husband. I mean, having him around to be my friend all the time is as good as it gets...no, it's better than that. Sometimes I don't want any other friends because I only want him. I know, I know...I need girl friends too, and I do want some. I think I'm more on the extreme side of loving my husband too much right now. But I like it this way. Except when he's gone away, and i'm home alone and just want to cry, and resign myself to the computer and write long rambling blogs...

I like being married. Let's just say that.

Do you know it's my 25th birthday in less than two weeks? I don't think it will be quite what I always imagined 25 would be like. I thought it would be some rah-rah party with all my friends and stuff. I don't feel so rah-rahish now. And I don't have any friends here. It will probably be a nice meal with Dan and his parents. I'm okay with that, I just feel somewhat like I have to live up to the expectations I had about my 25 birthday.
I all of a sudden just got tired. I think I shall go to bed. And then when I wake up there'll be only one more sleep till he's back again. Sigh.

So ends another saga of thoughts from the land of the slynn.

oh, one more,

why don't we have a comments section on this blog???

good night

I had to do one of these.

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Copper Mutant Your Superpower is Genetic engineering Your Weakness is Cowboys Your Weapon is Your Sonic Foam Your Mode of Transportation is Snowboard

could be weeks until i hear what store in london, if ever.

i am not just going to sit here and wait and maybe never get a position here.

i would just try and find another job here, but everyone at our hostel is having a horrible time finding any work whatsoever. i don't want to sit here on my butt waiting to hear or pounding the streets finding no work, all the while my money that i do have disintegrates beneath me paying rent (£75/week = $150/week) plus all food and travel (every day for the tube it is £5 = $10). London is expensive.

so i am coming back to canada.

i feel like i am disappointing all the people who were excited for me. i feel like i am disappointing my friends. i am trying hard to not feel like a failure, which is hard, but really, it's not my fault. am i giving up too quickly? maybe, but i don't really think so. i have had a very nice holiday, and now that i am not going to be stressing about the work thing i am really going to be able to enjoy my last few days here. i have been waiting for quite some time to hear. Starbucks has had 3 months to find me a position. I am fed up.

i am ok, but i hardly want to face everyone i just said goodbye to. i have not failed, but i have not done what i expected or wanted to. i am frustrated and angry.

and i am trying to decide what the next step is.

to change my flight was easy, and it takes me back into Vancouver. but i don't think i will stay in the area, not for long anyway. i am all geared up for an adventure of sorts, and even if its not overseas somewhere, i think i need to say goodbye to the lower mainland. but what, and when, i don't know.

i am thinking of maybe joining the ranks of the ontarians. or perhaps the maritimes. i think i will stick to canada. 3rd time is a charm, maybe, for me to learn my "just try and leave the country" lesson.

but i am not mad at God. not even frustrated with him. i am confident that i "moved" to london for a reason, that i said my goodbyes, that i got turned around again.

i will rise out of the ashes.

and i have had a great trip. wouldn't trade it for anything. i've caught the travel bug. going to make a point of travelling at least once a year to some far away place. from my place in canada. canada is my place, apparently. and i'm ok with that.

so, i will see you all soon.