The Legoland Convention

I'm taking a short break from my break of not posting on any blogs until school is done to write this post.

This year has been a challenge for me. Actually, every year since I've been at Bible College has been a challenge for me, but this year more so than others. A couple of years ago, I had decided that my attitude sucked (anyone remember me trying to instigate a fight with Nigel?) and so I set about trying to change who I was with the help of my saviour and the people He had placed in my life to push and encourage me along the way. I believe I made great strides in that goal. I had never been more spiritually alive in my entire life. Then this year happened. I made a lot of mistakes right from the start. First off, working late nights while you go to school, never a good thing. I got into the habit of not sleeping and not being a happy person during the days, and I even slept in most of my classes for the first month and a half. My attitude took a few steps back in that time period, and I can honestly say that I probably never fully recovered from that two months of ridiculous non-sleeping. Much of this year has been spent running on empty, and reall the only thing pushing me on now is the fact that I am almost done this year. The problem is, since working on my attitude, I find that I hate myself when I get in a bad mood. I think that I let myself down, and have also let God down with how I act. Part of the no sleeping this last two weeks I take full blame for. I get stressed out, I start to feel guilty about how I am behaving and I think terrible thoughts about how I will one day burn enough bridges that I will truly be on my own. I know this isn't true, but when you are past the point of exhaustion, funny things happen in your head, you go a little crazy. The biggest encouragement for me this year has not only been the faithfulness of God, my saviour and sustainer, but also the faithfulness i all my friends. Even when I am at my worst, people have never given up on me, and have even been super sympathetic and encouraging. For a guy who grew up without a whole lot of support from the people who are supposed to do that, I am always amazed by how my Christ-like friends come through for me, even when I am convinced it won't happen this time. It is something that I need to be reminded of time to time, because I foget that lesson continually. So thank you to all those who have been there for me when I needed it, and were there for me when I thought I could do it on my own. Oh, and happy belated birthday Slynn. And after the Dan's are done with Histroy Maker, it will never be the same again. In a good way.