The Legoland Convention

I am looking forward to this weekend ≥ any other weekend ever. Partly because I get to leave Abbotsford, and the loneliness that ensues. Partly because the last time I was in Victoria, I was nine and did nothing but play lacrosse (I also had a stomach flu half the time, for those who wanted to know). Partly because I get to visit a friend of mine whom I seem to have neglected these past few months. Mostly because I'm stupid. On a side note, but a good one, I don't have to make the whole trek by myself.

I actually slept for like 8 hours last night. The night before, I went to bed at like 1 or 2am, and was awake by 3:30am. But it was a good day. I emailed a bunch of resumes, and handed out a few more. That doesn't seem like much, but lately, it's all I can do to get myself out of the house. It was the first sunny day in a while, and I almost asked a girl named Summer out to lunch. Impulsive is not a characteristic I'd use to describe myself, but lately, I'm crazy impulsive.

Here are the 6 things I learned this weekend:
1. Todd Bentley may have been raptured.
2. The kingdom of God is the kingdom of God.
3. They are going to be crazy busy at HoJ next week, and I might get to work there.
4. Dan was right. There are three kinds of people: farmers, truckers, and shoppers.
5. The kingdom of God is the kingdom of God.
6. The guy who leads Young Adults at my church was more nervous about calling me than I was about going to the meeting.
7. The kingdom of God is the kingdom of God.

I went to the Regent College website yesterday. Man, I miss school already. And not just our school, with all my friends and stuff, but school in general, especially since I don't know when I'll be able to afford to go. And the higher up you go, the more expensive it gets. What I really need to do is get married, so my wife can work and put me through school. Any volunteers?

I'm also really looking forward to starting work. I don't have a job yet, but I want one now. And not just because I really need one either. I realize that in my fragile nature, this is a high that will probably not last, but it's a nice break from all this frustration I've been living in.

Some things to pray for: With a sudden influx of money, I don't want to blow it. I already was too impulsive yesterday, and I know I owe a lot in long distance bills right now too. It also means I might starting eating a lot more, as in fast food. But I don't want that. And with all the weight I've lost lately, it might come as a big shock to my system. Like I said before, I've lost at least 20 pounds since school ended in stress and insomnia. I will check again tomorrow when I go mow the lawn at my Dad's.

I really like my new church, but I don't know anyone there really. I didn't make it to the young adults thing last night, and I won't be able to next week because I'll be in Victoria. I'm not good at meeting people unless I'm stuck with them somehow, like in a dorm, like I was stuck with all of you. Hahahah. Just kidding. Also, I have no idea how long I'll even be there. Will I leave Abbotsford in September? If I do, where will I go? The problem with living with students is, can I leave mid-semester? Because who are they going to find to move in for November?

As for September, who knows? I'm getting anxious about it already. There's a church I've been in contact with for a little while, and I really like the pastor. I really want to work with him. He said we'll wait until September, and keep in contact and pray about it in the meantime. In September, there are no promises. I know he'd love to have me onboard, but he feels guilty about not being able to pay me. I told him that if I go, I'd understand what I was getting myself into. Anyways, the long and short of that is, it looks like I might have a ministry position come September, one that I'd really enjoy, and really learn a lot from, which is what I really need right now. A steady mentorship and stable environment.

The problem is, the church is in North Vancouver. Not only is it expensive to live there, but I'd need a job outside of the church. And of course, it's North Van. That in itself brings a myriad of complications that I don't know what to do about. And from my side, anyways, the pastor knows nothing of this. Should I bring it up? I don't know. It's like this problem of mine doesn't only affect my internal life, but my external as well. If it doesn't get resolved, not only do I have all this stuff that has kept me down for so long, but I have nothing to really look forward to either. I'd be in complete limbo, and I know it happens to everybody at some point, but I am terrified of it. Absolutely petrified. I'm a simple man, really. And the few things I want, the few things I'd consider normal for every human being, they are always just beyond my grasp, like a carrot strung before my nose, making a fool out of me.

Anyways, I don't want to end this entry on a downer, because, for the time being anyways, I don't feel down. I really want to go for a skate, but the weather turned bad again. Oh well. Tant pis. Besides, I get to go to the Island for like 4 days! Now, what to do until then? Anyways, please keep praying, as I am still quite unwell and unsettled, though I seem to be doing better of late. Maybe I'll write something.

There! There's the upnote I've been looking for. If anyone hasn't read the blog The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster you should. It's genius. And the same author is beginning another one called Simon of Space. It's only 3 episodes in as of today, so you can easily catch up. This guy writes so well, it's inspiring. I like the idea of creative short prose. I like when I can write something even somewhat creative. I was pretty proud of my Why are you up? post from a few weeks ago. I only wish there was more where that came from. I need a muse. Or several. Any volunteers?


P.S. I am considering adding a comments section to this blog. I don't know if it's necessary, but it would clean up responses. Let me know what you think, because maybe the responses (even though they're really short) should be part of the main page. Also, I don't know if many people read this site apart from members, and I know a lot of members don't have a lot of time anyways to post here.

P.P.S. Is there anyone else we should consider adding to this site? Don't post names, but defintely email them to me or Donkers. I intend to use this site more, and my own less. Well, not less, but only for really, really important stuff. Otherwise, I'm trying to be transparent and open here as well.

P.P.P.S. I've considered starting a new blog for things like poetry, or short stories, and the like. But is it necessary? Will Legoland suffice? Let me know.

P.P.P.P.S. A question on blog protocol. Should all these P.S.'s go after the lyrics, or before? I wasn't sure.


"Yeah I got to work on time again this morning,
This old job is all that I got left,
And no one even noticed I'd been crying,
At least I don't have whiskey on my breath,
Yeah I think I'm gonna make it,
'Cause God won't make a mountain I can't climb."

"It's getting better all the time."