The Legoland Convention

312 to 312, that was the score until this post. But alas, I again put Legoland ahead with this observation. They do say, after all, that one cannot study without affecting that which they study. Mayhaps this will be altered ere the morn is come.


"It's poetry in motion
She turned her tender eyes to me
As deep as any ocean
As sweet as any harmony"

"Mmm - but she blinded me with science
'She blinded me with science!'"

We had been together for almost three years. I remember the first time I asked her to dance.

“Umm.. would you ... would you ... will you dance with me?”

Grade 12: high school prom. Neither of us had gone with a date. She had just broken up with her boyfriend, Todd Harvey, like 3 weeks before. I really admired her for going.

It all started before even that, though, at least for me. Grade 9, she was the new kid in school, from out of state. The moment she walked in the door, I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She sat down right in front of me.

For four straight years, we were in the same Chemistry class, and for four straight years she had that lab counter right in front of mine. I was a nerd in school, always good at science and math, so she would turn around sometimes and ask for help with a problem she couldn’t quite get. But she was never condescending, not like Julie Arnold, her lab partner.

I always used to walk home from school. One day, I saw her walking about a block ahead of me. She lived just down the road from me. My heart quickened, and so did my pace. But I knew I’d never catch up without running, and if I ran, then she’d know. But she turned, and stopped, and waited for me. That was the day I fell in love. But not she.

She even invited me over every now and then to help her with her Chemistry homework. We stayed up three nights straight studying for the final exam in Grade 12. It was all pretty easy stuff for me, but I never once got bored. And guess what, she passed the exam, and when she saw me, she gave me the biggest hug. And it broke me. I had never been in love before.

We lost touch after grad, but I never stopped thinking about her. I didn’t go to school right away, I couldn’t afford it. So I found a few jobs around town for a couple of years, and stayed at my parent’s place until I could afford tuition. I liked being home, it was nice, but eventually it was time to leave, to go be a man. I enrolled in college, got accepted, and off I went. I didn’t know anybody there, and I didn’t get along with my roommate in the dorm, either. I was alone.

And you’ll never guess who was in my Chemistry class, sitting right in front of me. I didn’t talk to her right away, I didn’t have the guts. But she turned around about 3 weeks into the class looking for an eraser. Our eyes locked. She recognized me! After 3 years, and she still knew who I was.

We had lunch together after class, and next thing you know, we’re best friends. We hung out all the time, went to movies together, studied together. She had traveled after high school, visiting family all over the world. But now she was here, at my school, not knowing anybody but me. And I loved her.

I finally got the guts to ask her out at the end of freshman year. She said no.

We didn’t see each other much over summer, but come fall, things were back to normal. We were studying, what else, chemistry in her room. We were sitting beside each other on her bed, and I was explaining an equation to her. I leaned in to point out something on the page.

“You see this here?” I looked up, and she was right there, looking at me. I kissed her, and she kissed me back. I have never trembled so much in my life as I did when I kissed her. And that’s how it all started, December 1999.

One day, she told me she loved me, and I felt like a man.

Over the next two-and-a-half years, I only grew to love her more, and for once, she felt the same way. I could actually tell her I loved her, show her I loved her. I didn’t have to hide it anymore. After junior year, we both took time off school to work. Tuition had gone up, so we both went home to work. It was my decision at first, to go home that is, and she followed me. She followed me.

I looked forward to starting a family together, to raising kids together. I was happy when she was happy, and I cried when she cried. I looked forward to being a husband, a father, a man.

It was March, 2002. We broke up. It was bad, it was messy. I said a lot of mean things. I was going to ask her to marry me in a week. I don’t want to talk about it.

For six months, I felt like shit. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Day in and day out, I did my job at work, saving up money to finish school. I didn’t even really want to go back, but I was so close to graduation, I figured I might as well. It’s not like her and I were going to see each other there. I was in Sciences, and she in English. In senior year, the courses don’t tend to overlap much.

It was a big school; I didn’t think there was much danger. I was in the library, signing out books for a research project. I saw her outside, crying. It was obvious that she was crying. And it broke me. I still loved her. I contemplated going out there to talk to her, to console her. I was over all that anger shit, and the revenge shit. I grew out of that. I was scared more than anything. But I did it, because I was her man. I knew her better than any other person. We had shared so much, we didn’t have to be going out for me to care and be her man.

So I took a deep breath and walked outside. The sun was shining; it was a gorgeous day. She was sitting on the steps of the library, about 60 feet from the door. I stopped, took another deep breath, and stopped to tie my shoe. I was stalling.

I stood up, and started to walk. At about 50 feet, I saw a guy sit down beside her. Another guy. He put his arm around her, and she kissed him. And she cried on his shoulder. I stopped in my tracks. That was supposed to be me.

I was that guy, the guy she came to when the world seemed upside down. I was the guy that she shared all her secret joys and sorrows with. When she laughed, she laughed at my side, and it made me laugh. When she cried, she cried on my shoulder, and it made me weep.

I was supposed to be her man. I was going to marry her and be that guy forever. That was supposed to be me.

But alas, I forgot my place. And I walked, right past them, in the rain. I heard her weep on his shoulder. And it broke me.

That was the worst moment of my life.


"Love and hate get it wrong
She cut me right back down to size
Sleep the day let it fade
Who was there to take your place
No one knows never will
Mostly me but mostly you
What do you say do you do
When it all comes down"

"I don't wanna come back down from this cloud
Taken me all this time to find out what I need"

my ticket is booked....i am going to see Reine!
it's a vacation for me! yay!
Dec 4 i am flying to Calgary (not that Calgary would ever be my first choice as somewhere to visit in the winter) and 5 days later, i coming back.
i think i need to buy a jacket.

Happy Birthday, Fraunhofer!!!


"He went away and you hung around
And bothered me, every night
And when I wouldn't go out with you
You said things that weren't very nice"

"My boyfriend's back,
And you're gonna be in trouble"

Happy Birthday Donkers!!!

Okay Dan, so you've discovered my computer illiterate skills at times. I was trying to do something...but it didn't quite work out like I had planned. But Slynn is back. And that's how it will stay.

So, this weekend is a fake long weekend. With Thursday off, many people have taken Friday off to make a 4-day break. I went away Wednesday and Thursday, but was dutifully back to school Friday morning. My teacher, however, was not.

Lucky, you might say, but alas, 'tis not so. I could have had most of 5 days off in a row! Oh well, c'est la vie.

I need a helping hand.


"And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
My independence seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like I've never done before."

"Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round."

S-Girl?
Are you a superhero now?
What does the S stand for?
What's your superpower?
Brightening the world through the medium of internet?
Cause I'm not sure if that counts.
wheeheeheehee.
I'll be your archnemesis, S-Girl.
Call me "The Toolbar"
I search out your favourite media and make it history.
Bwahaahaahahahaha

I think I'm just sappy all the time. So in my case, a fancy title is usually not warranted for the simple fact. Just thought I'd mention that.

It's good to be home.
Just so you know, you're all great.
Man I love my friends.
Hopefully I can see you guys soon.

so, sunday night i got the news that my mom is getting married next summer. she basically called me for my blessing. the man she is marrying and i do not get along, to put it mildly. i have really been working on forgiving him for the many things in the past that i hold against him, but it's a long road. all this to say that next august, probably the second weekend (but i'll let you know the date for sure), i could use some company going up to burns lake. i am actually saying that i can't do this alone. i will need you guys. i'll keep you updated. (i'm feeling a "i don't ask for much...." coming on, but am trying to resist it.)

So, apparently in Taiwan, this guy named Chen jumped into a lion paddock at the zoo yelling, "Jesus will save you." This roughly translated into the lion language as, "Lunch Time!" and they acted accordingly. After one or two nibbles, the lions backed off, and Chen stood up, yelled, "Lunch time" umm, I mean "Jesus will save you" and then climbed out.


"Make your money with a suit and tie
Make your money with shrewd denial
Make your money expert advice,
If you can wing it
Make your money with a power ply
Make your money with a buyout bribe
Make it lie as long as you mean it"

"I’m not king of comedy,
I’m not your magazine,
I’m not your television"

Guys, I like you all a whole lot! I haven't been around much lately (at least in the taking initiative way that I do so much like) and it makes me miss you. My friends way up there in my books. So, let's hang out more...after this week where I'll be hiding in my room pretty much most of the time (stinkin' 15 pagers due two days in a row).
And Donkers, yes, we will hang out...tomorrow at Wilco (hooray!) and this weekend for the wedding. Good times ahead.

After four and a half long years I am currently off any medication whatsoever. Yay! Turns out there are some very interesting side effects of going off of drugs - which on a side note I was told were not at all addictive. Apparently the difference between being addicted to a drug and being dependent is different and a very fine line. When you don't crave something, but want it really badly because you feel real sick without it you are not addicted, only dependant. This is a clarification that would have been very helpful to me 5 years ago! Anyways, some interesting side effects of going off my drugs are as follows:
- the shakes - like being cold without feeling cold. Good luck figuring that one out
- Confused nerves - like the nerves and responses in your head are all of a sudden on their own to figure out what to do. Without direction they left me feeling like I was in pain, but wasn't quite sure where.
- Fuzzy headedness - this is not to be confused with the fuzzy headedness which is a side effect of being on the drugs. This leaves an incredibly confused, instead of incredibly docile feeling.
- Pain - headaches. Oh my God, the headaches.
- Tingles - They come and go in waves. Big weird feeling waves.
-Little hallucinations - not big ones like seeing ghosts or anything, but seeing something moving out of the corner of your eye yet knowing its completely impossible.
-Panic - seriously this might seem like it would be medically unrelated, but holy crap! Its like coming out of a fog and all of a sudden being aware of everything around you and it seems like everything moves faster and busier.
-Flu like Nausea - feeling like puking but never really being able to.
-DIZZYNESS - ugh. I have walked into far too many walls lately
and finally...
-Excitement - knowing that soon I'm going to be able to think straight and having the hope that my life will be healthy and I will be able to function to my capability.

Effexor - $8/month with mom's medical coverage
Being unmedicated - priceless


On a side note, thank you to those of you who've been so supportive and excited for me. Seriously its made a huge difference. This isn't the sort of thing you can do alone.

Dan, we miss you, come back soon. Sorry I missed Expo 86. Don't forget to bring Luke back with you.

What is cooler?
A)the one gun salute
B)the two gun salute
C)the one-two gun salute
D)the six-shooter salute
-If you don't get it, ask Holly-Anne

In what common household situation is 99 greater than 100?

Sugar is still water soluble.

If you crossed a lion and a tiger, would it have spikes and magical powers, or would you have to add that afterwards?

I apologize to my guests last night. Promptly after they arrived, I went straight to bed. Sorry Sarah, Allison, Lee and Matt.

That is all. Adieu. I'm off for a refreshing and invigorating dinner of beaners and wiens.


"I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner
That is what I truly wish to be
cause if i were a oscar mayer weiner
everyone would be in love
oh everyone would be in love
everyone would be in love with me"

"Captain!" Lt. Uhura shouted from her station behind him. "There's Klingons off the Starboard-Bow"
"Again with the Klingons," the Captain mused to himself.

- Star Trek 13: So Very, Very Tired


Another day older, another year older. I cannot believe it has been 5 years.

5 years ago, I was beginning to realize that maybe film school wasn't the way to go.

5 years ago, I was so in love with a girl that I'd have followed her into Hell.

5 years ago, I actually did follow her into Hell, (or so I thought) and actually became a Christian out of it all.

5 years ago, I fell in love with another, but in a quite different way, because He was my Father.

5 years ago, I began this crazy trek, and detours, backtracks, switchbacks, Nickelbacks, stumbling, darkness and myriad obstacles stood in my path, I've made it thus far (my calculations place me at exactly 3 baby steps beyond my starting point)

5 years ago, I met Jesus, and now there's no turning back.


"King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart"

"'m coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus"

Hey all.

I am tired today. I woke up at 8:30 here, which is 4:30 BC time. I'm adjusting to time here just in time to go back home. Wheeeeeeeeee.

This place is crazy, but really fun. I can't wait for tomorrow. We're playing the show tomorrow.
Anyways, you all have a good day.
I think I should take a nap.

Sara-Lynn, we should hang out when I get back. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever.

Later.

If you all want to hear a rare FPTP radio interview and acoustic set, tune into Stfx radio 5:00 pacific time for "Expo 86."
How, you ask, do I tune into Stfx radio?
Simple.
On your internet browser, go to:
http://www.cfxu.ca
and listen in on the show.
Later.

"Did you hear Mr Halliday is sick and won't be here this morning?" Marian remarked to the young mother on duty with her in the church nursery one Sunday morning.

"Good thing!" snapped back the young mother, trying to quiet a bawling five-month-old. "He's one of the most boring persons I've listened to. He just rambles on and on."

Earlier in the week, on Wednesday evening, Marian had had a similar problem with her husband, Philip.

"Let's go," Philip had said as he clicked off the TV set and watched the opening episode of Star Trek shrink to a tiny dot. As they made their way to the elevator he had let his resentment burst out.

"How did we get ourselves talked into this deal, hon?" he had demanded, pushing the button. "One of the few evenings we're alone."

"Someone's got to help the missionaries."

"But they're so dull, and they don't even talk our language. The last man we heard talked as if he lived in another world - didn't even communicate."

"Our church supports them."

"Well, it's about time we quit," he said.

"Philip, we've got so much."

"I'd rather put my money where it works."

"What do you mean by that?"

The elevator doors swung open. "Look, hon," he said as they stepped out together, "I just can't take this. Do you mind very much?" Dangling the keys, he went on. "Why don't you count me out tonight? Tell me all about it when you come home. Watch the bridge - traction's bad. We'll get snow tires next week."

Riding back up to the eighteenth floor, Philip sighed. "Oh, well, next time I'll go." He hurried back to Star Trek. At the door he paused. "Oh God - the key!" By the time he got back down to the parking lot, his wife was past the first traffic light, dabbing her eyes with a tissue. "I'll touch up my eye shadow outside the church," she thought, "and tell them Philip is busy tonight."


"I'm never alone,I'm alone all the time
Are you at one or do you lie
We live in a wheel where everyone steals
But when we rise it's like strawberry fields"

"Don't let the days go by,
Glycerine "