The Legoland Convention

Well, its that time again folks -my second annual northern review. A little late, but hopefully still insightful. It's That little reminder that life anywhere but Prince George is likely more sane but less entertaining. I may be crazy since most occurances didn't feel out of the ordinary. Here are my notes so far:
- The satellite guy came over to fix it and we had a great conversation about Lou Reed -during and post velvet underground. The sattelite guy is like sixty and we've never met. He knows my brother and was wondering if he was still dating his neighbour. No clue how this guy knows him. Said he's be back the next day to actually fix the satellite. Being true to nortern life he of course did not.
- In the parking lot of "Northern Fitness Center" aka redneck gym, I saw a guy working out with a baseball hat and full on mullet and of course a mustache. While he was on the bike, he was vigorously wiping the sweat off of the handlebars.
-Also, a guy that I went to highschool with was sitting at the registration desk. I do not think he has moved from that spot in eight years.
-While packing for Edmonton, we had to find two bear skins in the freezer to drop off at a taxedermist on the way. We had to moved the skinned deer around to find it. I only thought it was funny when mom stuck their skinned legs out with their hooves sticking straight up and made them dance. I am sick
-Carolyn Bull, Dale's wife (cf: last years blog) was the talk to the hockey rink after she figured out that it would be far more convenient to skate onto the ice to sing the anthem instead of shakily walking out there. Apparently she is ingenious, being the first to actually think of it and has been complimented many times since.

another peice that I would like to compliment with the review this year, is one more specifically focused on northern Tim Horton's culture. These are just a few things that may distinguish a northern Timmy's from a southern.
- If you see your teacher from Grade one there.
- Two customer's who have just run into eath other. One says, "hey, give Bullseye a good kick - she's been chewing on my fence again". Upon hearing this you don't think anything of it, because you understand the plight of a wood fence and a neighbour's horse. Then after some reflection deem it blog worthy.
- "the girl next door" look involves moccasins. The real kind, not those damn slippers. The full on up-to-your-knees, with pom pom, leather deal. Also can be complimented with a parka
- groups of teenagers make out at the cash register.
- Men check women out openly and unabashedly. Because they aren't being creepy, just honest. Except the old ones. They try to be creepy I think.
- you find yourself there on a daily basis, even if you don't like coffee.

Well, those were some of the best moments that I can think of.

My older sister, Tricia, was in Malaysia during the 8.9 earthquake just off the coast of Sumatra (in Indonesia) and subsequent tsunami. Scary as hell waking up and reading in the newspaper about the devestation where you know a close relative is. And I had to go to work today without having heard from Tricia or knowing if she was OK. She is. She called my mom, and my mom called me at work to ease my mind.

so, yeah.

i want to have Christmas with my friends, the family i surround myself with.
i have had a few christmases alone, and am now, looking back, finding them superior to this being around family that i have never celebrated Christmas with before and fitting myself in. i have never been "one of the kids" at Christmas with this part of my family, but, often, at Christmas, people fit back into roles that they had as children. if i were in Burns, i would be doing the same, but i don't want to anymore.
perhaps it wouldn't be as bad trying to fit in with another family if that family was my boyfriend/fiance/husband's family. i hope i wouldn't always feel this odd about it. but then again, it's less like your a kid then, more like it's a rite of passage into aduthood? i don't know....
i like having things i do on Christmas.
i like going to a movie Christmas night.
i like remembering and reflecting on what Christmas is about, historically and personally.
i don't even mind working.
i don't like feeling obligated to be involved in things i have no desire to do.
i don't like feeling like a kid. because i'm not one.
it's not like this is all horrible. it's not as though i'm not grateful to have people to be around and how much they actually do care about me.
it's just...awkward.

i am looking just past Christmas to help get me through, to the 28th. the gala.

and i miss my friends.

i hope each of you understands what you mean to me. i thought about writing it all out here, but i'm not going to. but be warned that i might try to tell you. it's not scary or anything, but i get kind of, um, awkward and intense (those of you who have seen it-not very many of you, actually-know exactly what i mean) when i talk about things that are really important to me or mean a lot to me or involve my feelings, and telling you what you mean to me is all three.

next year, Sunshine, next year.

Hey, I spelt kalidoescope right on the first try..... Damnit!

Anyways, Tuesday, I also went to the dentist, and had an interesting experience. Not quite so funny however, but interesting nonetheless. I can't open my eyes. Even with my eyes closed, I tear up because the lights burn me. The dentist always thinks he's hurting me or something, but it's just that big-ass light he shines right down your throat is always in my eyes.

Once, he let me wear sunglasses on the chair, but I always forget to bring a pair. But now he's got this new light. I guess it shines just fine down my muzzle, but it doesn't hurt my eyes. Now, out of habit, I close my eyes during all intimate, mouth-related encounters, but this time, I opened them for a brief instant; what I saw has changed my life.

Well, that's a load of bull, but what I did see were beautiful green eyes. The dental hygienist(?) girl had really pretty eyes, or maybe they were just really close. I haven't seen eyes like that (really close, I mean) for many a moon. Eyes are cool. They let you see things, and I don't just mean for the owner.

I am looking back on this blog's archives from last December. Bryan, I now know how big 150 points is. When I meet you in the finals, I intend on 150-pointing you into the grave! I was sick, I remember, in more ways than one. Dan and I both lost family, and Dan had gone to Ontario. Holly kept us entertained with her updates on Northern life, and Slynn tried to work a million jobs (or did a million jobs try to work her?). These were some of the events which shaped our lives, or at least our year, or maybe just our break.

Now, looking back, I am thankful for every one of you (not just those I mentioned). I am also very sorry. I am sorry for the numerous times I have failed each one of you, failed to be the brother I should have been. Your grace is much appreciated. My lack of courage to do the right thing has oft been a stumbling point for me, and my inability to do the right thing when courage does happen across my path has frightened me. I find it difficult to forgive myself of these shortcomings, but your continued friendship has been forgiveness enough. Thank you.

I seek your pity, usually, but not today. I do not ask for encouraging remarks. I don't claim for them to be hollow; in fact, this year, I seek to trust completely. I simply ask that grace continue to abound. As I look back, I see old struggles, and am reminded that their contemporary brethren are both equally difficult and challenging, but they also remind me that, with new struggles come new battlefields. A new battlefield means I've moved off the old one, or, more importantly, it means I've moved. Moved somewhere, anywhere, but I've moved.

In many ways, I have accomplished so little this year, it makes me sick. Flunking school at the last minute; shying away from ministry before I've even seriously begun; setting unrealistic standards; scaring away those I care about, and not caring for those I care about. For those who remain, I am more than overjoyed at your faithfulness. Again, thank you. For those who now are far from me, I wish I could make it up to you whatever it is I've done, but I know that I probably cannot. I am deeply and truly sorry.

I don't even know why I'm writing this. I just wanted to tell you about going to the dentist (cue laughter).


"You know with love
Comes strange currencies
And here is my appeal:
I need a chance, a second chance, a third chance, a fourth chance,
A word, a signal, a nod, a little breath
Just to fool myself, to catch myself, to make it real"

"These words: You will be mine."

That's right. Today is indeed Festivus.
I managed to get the day off work.
The band members didn't think it would happen.
They thought I would disappoint them.
But instead . . .
I produce the greatest Festivus miracle of all!
The Poli-Sci Avengers play tonight!
A First Past the Post cover band that pulls out all the stops!
Wheeeheeheehee.
Festivus.
What a great freakin' holiday!

The epidemic continues. I rented season 2. I figured my invalid step-dad would like it, but he said - oh no don't rent it for me. I knew he'd be hooked. He's been making me watch it all day. I love it, but holy crap I'm getting stressed. I'm on a 20 min intermission since he had to make some phone calls. And now he's getting antsy, wanting to watch the 7th episode since this morning so I've had to make this short.

Going to the dentist is quite a ridiculous experience. After 23 years of the annual check-up and teeth clean (okay, maybe only 19 years or so), it becomes almost routine. Sitting in the chair with a bib around your neck, opening up your mouth and manouvering your tongue to avoid the scraper and mirror they use to scrape away plaque, feeling the buzz of the toothbrush and trying not to swallow whatever it is that is in your mouth, letting the dentist actually inspect your mouth and ask if you've been flossing and brushing, and finally...the flouride rinse. When you think about it, it's kind of absurd. I mean, I understand why we do it, but it seems like such a bizarre thing. What makes it good is the kind of dentist you have. When I was little I had such a nice dentist. He posted pictures of pretty places on the ceiling so that as you lay there you could look at them and imagine you were there instead of sitting in a dentist's office.
My dentist now, he's pretty cool too. He always compliments me on my smile and shows it off to whoever is around. That is amusing. Today I told him about graduating and possible opportunities I have after school. He proceeded to plan out my life for me and tell me why this particular job opportunity was so great and why I should do it. That was nice. But the best part came next. He was inspecting the bridge I have where I have a fake tooth. And I had mentioned something about having a boyfriend. So he asked me if my boyfriend had noticed how nice the bridge was. I kind of mumbled something (which is about all you can do when the dentist is talking to you). And then he went on to tell me that he didn't mind my boyfriend taking a "closer inspection" of the bridge in my mouth, but that I was not allowed to let anyone else get too close of a look at the inner workings of my mouth. It was sooooo funny! If I hadn't been sitting in the chair, trying not to drool, I would have laughed and laughed. Who says that? And then when I was about to leave he told me that I should bring my boyfriend in sometime to meet everyone in the office. How great is that? He's a 40 year old man with 3 kids. It just struck me as the kind of experience that has to be shared. How many dentists are that entertaining?

i am a very visual person. i think visually. i remember visually. a picture is worth far more than a thousand words to me. as a screenwriter this can often be difficult becuase i want to describe what i see, but the medium of screewriting limits description (which i enjoy because it challenges me). most of the time i love how visual i am, how easily i can see beauty etc...but sometimes, like right now, i just wish i could burn images out of my head.
i read something horrible on friday. somebody had written a very detailed description of a kidnap, rape, and murder of a woman-it was written in the first person, like they had actually done it. it was found at my work and we turned it in to the police. as i was reading it, thinking how horrendous this was if it was true and had happened, i was inadvertatly adding images to the words i was reading. now, i can hope that the story was just written by some sicko that imagined it and never did it, or i can think the worst and think it's possible that the person who committed something so horrible was at my store and wrote that on the newspaper. Both make me sad. The story made me weep to think that the things described may have happened to someone (and do happen to people when they are raped and/or murdered)
and i can't get the images out of my head. last night i woke up sweating and crying, just from the images. when i shut my eyes i can see the graphic things described. and it haunts me.

So we went to the battle of the bands last night, held at victory Christian center. And christian center it was - even up to the largely framed "prayer of Jabez" on the wall next to the girls bathroom. It almost felt like I was in the movie saved. I think that church in the lower mainland is still so crazy to me, because my background is so different. I didn't go to a church that was "seeker friendly". We didn't have any type of "coolness" whatsoever. Well, I was cool and so were some of the kids, but the church itself wasn't. So I have a difficult time understanding why it happens. We were one big messed up family trying to stumble through life. Even as a kid I knew that the adults didn't have it together, because they were so honest about stuff. It was so incredibly unpretentious. It was refreshing. I've never been able to find a place that I've felt so at home in. Even now. Man I miss going to a church where I feel a part of.

Tentative Date for GVRD gala Christmas event: December 28.

When is this great event?

I will be there.
With bells on? Perhaps.

I wouldn't miss it for all of Midas' Gold.
(if anyone has access to Midas' gold, don't offer it to me if the price is me missing the Gala...)

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's about that time of year.
Time for the one, the only,

***GVRD gala evening 2004***

That's right! This formal affair features dinner on the beach, some driving around in an old car (with character mind you) and gambling.
What better way to celebrate Christmas?
All residents of the Greater Vancouver Regional District are invited to this wonderful evening.

Respond to Dan Donkers,
c/o http://legolandconvention.blogspot.com
Looking forward to hearing from you Moey.

So HA, I've been doing some research since our conversation at your house the other night. The one where Rosa was all pissed. I was really intrigued. By research I mean I've talked to some other girls. Okay so by other girls I mostly mean I talked to Shrah today. Oh, and Laura yesterday. They seem to agree. Very interesting. I plan to do more research. And then write about it.

On a related note, I'm starting to think that some things that I do because I think I'm "easygoing", I might just be doing because I'm passive.
Interesting.

last night i was riding on the skytrain after work, listening to music on my discman (i don't think i learn at that time of night, so the italian goes back in the case and the music comes out). and i think i have developed a pretty good music video for the song "hella good" by no doubt. i know they already have a video for it, but i think it would be fun to make, and an interesting take on the song. anyway, i am risking having some of my ideas stolen from me (i'm not worried about any of you who post or regularly read this blog, but those mysterious anybody's lurking on the internet) and letting you all know what this idea is.

basically it is just a montage of images of men and women, guys and girls, flirting with each other. the idea being that flirting is a dance and, by extension, that "courtship" or "dating" is a dance as well. and this is a dance that most people enjoy. even harmless flirting can make someone smile for an hour, but when between people with whom something might actually happen can make you feel as though you're dreaming. we would start out the video with general sweeping images, many different sets of people, and end up focusing on just a few of those couples. here are some examples of people we might see:

• a girl behind the counter of a coffee shop and a cute guy as a customer (!)
• a police officer and someone trying to get out of a ticket
• a guy and girl in high school talking by the lockers, holding their books
• random man and woman on the skytrain
• old man opening a door for a woman
• group of people, apparently friends, with a guy and a girl paying special attention to each other
• a guy and and girl playing video games together
• a couple on a date at a movie
• a man and a women eating dinner together

there would be a lot of smiles and hair touching, and other obvious and not so obvious flirting techniques.

that sort of thing, you get the idea. listen to the song to get the whole picture. it's fun.

In fact, Slynn, I'm really glad you asked. In answer to your question, and I quote, (do you have to say that when you're typing?) "How does he go about asking me to the Christmas banquet???" That is it, word for word, with all three question marks, except I emphasized a word.

Well Slynn, you see, the answer is quite simple. I walked up to you, asked the question, "Will you go to the Christmas banquet with me?" Abra-cadabra! That's how I asked you. I sure hope this was enough of a "witty-intellectual answer" for you. Have a nice day.

P.S. I'm kinda glad you said no. I was sorta banking on it.


"Cheers darlin'
Here's to you and your lover boy
Cheers darlin'
I got years to wait around for you
Cheers darlin'
I've got your wedding bells in my ear
Cheers darlin'
You give me three cigarettes to smoke my tears away"

"And I die when you mention his name
And I lied, I should have kissed you
When we were running in the rain"

So...just for clarification, the previous post was an attempt at being funny and not a bash on Andrew at all. I am told it may have come across in the wrong way. Unfortunately, I am not so good with expressing humour through written words.

Yes Holly, I agree. Except it goes beyond what he is talking about. What he is doing is right up there as well. How does he go about asking me to the Christmas banquet??? That, I am curious about. And I know that he'll come up with some witty-intellectual answer for my question...but I still would like to know.
What's going on Andrew???

Lately I don't know what the hell Andrew is talking about.