The Legoland Convention

I showed up an hour early for work. Oops. So here I am in the library, with black pants and a black Salmo shirt. I think I'll just tell people I'm from Salmo. They'll understand. I'm only getting 16 hours of work between now and next Tuesday. Lame.

Canada day is tomorrow. Hooray for Canada.

we had an older fellow here in penticton try to accomodate you a couple of days ago, bryan, and he got himself creamed by a drunk driver.

so.

use the predetermined crosswalk, first making sure there are no cars coming to murder you.

wherever you are...

can you all take a moment and use the predetermined cross walk. It is important to me.

sorry bout the intensity, (and if you didn't catch it, it is there)

I am a lunch monitor.
The phrase itself had not crossed my mind until today when a lady jokingly called me such. And it is true. I sit in the lunchroom, supervising what goes on. I check to see if people have paid or not before they get in line. I tell the people to properly scrape their dirty dishes. People look to me to answer their questions and complaints. Where is the cutlery? Is there any more cream? There's no more salad! I have been transported to the elementary school cafeteria. And I am the lunch monitor.
Can I put that on my resume? It would go nicely with chambermaid, administrative assistant, chauffer...etc. What a multi-useable job I have.

Wow Rob, I wish I had seen that cbc special. Interesting that they would fill their studio with angry left-wingers. The CBC isn't exactly a leftist corporation, if there is such a thing.

Anyways, yesterday, at the movie theatre, there was a speedbump in the parking stalls, but not in the driving lane. Weird.

Today I got to talk to my manager about God. She is cool. She was like, "I figure I drink, smoke and swear, but I do it in front of God and everyone else. I don't try to hide it like alot of church people." I thought, "Man, she's got things more right than I do."

"We are young!
Heartache to heartache
we stand!
No promises
no regrets!
Love is a battlefield."

i just lost any respect i had for peter mansbridge.

his behaviour shouldn't surprise me considering the fact that he works at the whim of the prime minister, but i still couldn't help loathing his every word.

the program was cbc news's democratic feature, "canada votes: your turn with stephen harper", a rather curious title when you stop to think. i'm talking, of course, about the 1 hour tv question and answer forum with each of the major federal party leaders in which 'average' canadians in the studio get to ask pressing political questions of the candidates.

'average', that is, if you're an angry, militant, leftist-propagandizing, slightly incoherent enemy-for-life of all that is right wing, fundamentalist, religious, or moral.

so during the entire show there was only 1 questioner - that's right, one - who had any kind of civilized attitude towards harper. the rest of the audience questioners put forth their thinly veiled attempts at political assasination at the behest, no doubt, of the cbc studio managers who depend on liberal patronage for their livelihoods.

the whole hour they kept standing up and asked increasingly pointed and misleading questions of harper until at last peter mansbridge took over the inquisition and attempted to skewer harper with his razor sharp wit. it was less than impressive.

but while his material didn't give him much to work with and harper answered the belligerent questions with intelligence and panache, the result of this endless heckling left a foul taste in my mouth. that rot comes straight from the cbc though and i couldn't be prouder of stephen harper, manifestly and by a wide margin the most rational, moral, coherent and all around capable man on the ballot to run this country.

cbc television never was very good, or of any real value to anyone, so i won't miss it now that i've decided not to watch it ever again. at least until it stops insulting my intelligence. the radio is good though, when it stays away from politics.

go dan. i will dig a hole in the ground and live there. so hot and kinda sick so hot is HOT if yanoh whatsit i'm meaning. ohhm,.

It is about 15 degrees cooler in the Library than it is in my house. I think I'll sleep in here tonight.

I may have the best job in the world! They might be paying me to take a trip to go visit my boyfriend (well, in a round-about way) on the day his band is doing a show. It doesn't get much better than that. How wonderful life is...

Today, I was brave.
I conquered the unconquerable.
I defeated the impossible.
I slaughtered dirt, grime and mold.
Today, I cleaned the P.S. Jones washrooms.
There is no more daunting task than that.
And I did it.

...Well, all except for the guys' showers. Not only was the light burnt out so that you could hardly see what you were facing, but the little light that was there revealed infestation of spiders. That, I could not handle. So I got help.

I also got to be interviewed by the BC Summer Career Placement people. Quite a remarkable day.

i don't like the title option. it's messy.
i'll tell you what i do like, though....starhunter.
starhunter (not starhunter 3200) is the coolest show ever right now.
mostly for one reason: the character of percy. she is cooler than dar the beastmaster.

percy is the engineer of the privateer starship, and the niece of its captain.
she is weird, very quirky, and frequently tries to convince everyone that she's
not all there (if you know what i mean). and wow is she cute. ridiculously cute. oh my.
starhunter is where you need to be. percy is great.

so is morgan spurlock.

http://www.starhuntertv.com/percy2.html

So last night I went to 7-11 here in Langley to get some "dinner." I walked into the store, and it was pretty much empty, except for one large gentleman talking to the two store clerks. Their conversation centered entirely around Star Trek, and particularly the Star Trek movies. They had hilariously nerdy voices, and I could tell that they were avid, perhaps even rabid, fans. I missed the early parts of the conversation, as I was getting food. But here's the parts that I caught and remember:

Large Gentleman: Yeah, the science of Star Trek has always been a little bit questionable.

Large store clerk: Ha, yeah.

Skinny with glasses store clerk: Yeah, I always thought it was funny how almost any problem could be solved by "reversing the polarity." Like "Oh no! We're headed for a wormhole, let's reverse the polarity!!" And there's your problem solved. (Editor's note: the example above is fabricated, but they did use a similar example).

All: Ha Ha Ha.

Skinny clerk: And then there's that thing they always have.

Other two guys: Oh yeah, the umm . . .

Skinny Guy: (Ok, so here the conversation gets a little blurry. But he pulled out some name of some kind of equipment the Enterprise had that did stuff.)

Other guys: Oh yeah. Ha, that's it!

Skinny Guy: Whenever people would ask how that works, the Star Trek people would always say "very well thank you."

All: Ha Ha.

Skinny Guy: Like at the conventions people would ask "How does the (whatever the hell that thing was called) work?" And the Star Trek people would always be like "It works well, thank you. Next Question."

Large clerk: Ha. Yeah. You know, I always thought Star Trek Voyager would have been a great show, except suddenly they had these alien species that no one's ever had contact with before, and they can all speak English?? I mean, what's up with that.

Large customer: Yeah, it's like they had some kind of universal translator or something.


By this time I was on my way out the door, trying not to laugh hysterically. Man, I wish I had some kind of Star Trek knowledge. Then i wouldn't have felt so out of the loop. These guys were intense. I just smiled and bought things. And left.

I've noticed that of late, I've become increasingly narrow minded, and though it scares me, I don't see it as a bad thing, necessarily. It's kind of hard to explain, so here goes nothing.

It's like this. I believe certain things because I think they are true. The argument behind the belief, at least in my eyes, is valid. 2+2=4 because the evidence says so. Now, to look at the same evidence 2+2, but to achieve any answer other than 4 is wrong. What I'm trying to say is that, if a belief comes into to conflict with my own, it must be wrong, because the evidence won't add up.

In a society where everybody is right, it's hard for me to call other people wrong, even though they are. And I don't feel narrow minded because of outside pressure, not because someone called me intolerant or anything like that. I feel more so because I tend to outrightly reject other points of view. I try not to be stereotypically Christian by believing only what's in my little bubble, and rejecting all else without even examining it. I'm not quite sure how good of a job I'm doing.


"This mellow, sweet, short-haired boy,
Woman offers pull up a seat
Take in one symphony now,
We’ve just begun to battle
Wrap your heel in bones of steel,
Turn the leg, a twist of color
Autumn waded seven seas swimming colored come another"

"Seven Chinese brothers swallowing the ocean
Seven thousand years to sleep away the pain
She will return, she will return"

In what common household situation is 100 less than 99?

Hooray!!! I just came on this blog today with this simple question: Where the hell is Andrew? But apparently he decided to appear on this blog just before I got to make my point. Maybe this blog is kind of like the Saturday lounge . . .

Anyways, I reached a new low of public geekiness today. I stood outside of the library with a group of people, waiting for it to open. It wasn't on purpose, I accidentally came early. But nonetheless I waited in line to get into the library.

Maybe Andrew feels like responding to my trade proposition now.

**NEW**
I've added a title field, for those of us who would like to title posts. It is not necessary, and, for the most part, I wanted to. So there.

Rob, you'll love this:
I came home from work the other day, and the TV was on, but nobody was in the living room. I saw a scantily clad woman, then it cut to a scantily clothed, muscular man. It was, of course, the Beastmaster. The best part, though, I discovered as I neared the screen. IT WAS IN SPANISH!! Someone in my house put on Beastmaster in Spanish! Crazy.

I like to think a lot, but with working so much lately, I don't really get the opportunity. Work isn't mindless enough, for the most part, and I'm awfully tired when I get home. I tried praying at work, you know, while I'm carting furniture around and stuff, but I found that everytime I got distracted (~ every 15 seconds or so), I would lost my train of thought, and not think about it again for sometimes hours.

Yesterday, I decided to pray over each piece of furniture. People are going to be using it, and I figured it was a good way to pray for people that I'll never meet. I found this to be great, since, even though I often lost my train of thought, I can kind of reset it everytime I pick up a new piece of furniture. The other great side effect is that it seems to be giving me an arena for thinking. I start with a prayer for the future proprietors of the furniture, and it gets me thinking. I know I'm all rambly and stuff right now, but I think this is a good thing.

Words of the week: Thai Silk Mushrooms, Dixie Rose Kimono


"You seem a little strange
Something about you not the same
Nowhere to hide from the feeling
running through my veins
It was the frightening truth
That way just ain't no youth
Baby, you got the will, you got the way"

"Savin' the day
Savin' the day
Speak of the past, they slip in the back way"

I'm going to Kelowna. Yipeeeeee!!!!

I have now officially memorized my library card number. Awesome.

Slynn,
nope, doesn't count. If I were to count what I do at work I would have been a domestic godess a year ago. I get far more done at work than at home. But good job on the million loads of laundry.

I washed, dried and folded about 18 loads of laundry today. Does that make me a domestic goddess too???

I might have a job at Subway. So good. I'll be a legendary sandwich artist.
Holly, I recorded "Total Eclipse of the Heart" onto this tape in my stereo, and then I realized that the tape was a Catatonia tape, and probably your Catatonia tape. But it's been there forever, so it's now my classic songs that I hear on the radio tape.

In the immortal words of Pastor Dan,
"I am a sexy man,
a sexy man . . . of God."

If you position the taples lengthwise, the table can be longer.
Maybe that's what she was thinking.

If you do anything without faith, why do it.

with that said, it is probably sin aswell.

Follow Christ Holly, feel everything, and trust in your Father to answer your prayers. Just as a wicked judge would show mercy if pleaded with, how much more would a righteous and just God. Trust in the outcome, not the method.
This is easier said than done. Prayer is the most important neglected thing on the planet. Don't feel alone. Everyone goes through that. After Jesus taught on it himself, still the disciples had little faith.

Pray as he prayed

umm... I could go on and on
but like mostly everything I would say, is in that book, you know the one, you probably have a precious moments one, i have a black leather one. haha

Don't worry
Bryan

I've been feeling really depressed lately and its stupid. I don't have good reason. I realize that I could fall back on the chemically unbalanced thing, but I don't like that. I've been pondering the horrible situation of the world and looking for things that make me think deeply about such. This is definitely the best way to keep oneself chipper and cheerful. Ugh. I've come to realize that I have this unrealistic expectation that I should be somber about the state of the world, thus keeping myself realistic about life in general. But God gives reason for joy. Yet I find myself feeling more "righteous" when I dwell on the negative. As though all of these thoughts will somehow change the state of those around me. Also, I've been feeling like my prayers are too many and answers too few. I've asked God to teach me more about faith. I realize that this will likely get me into trouble. I'll be stronger, but not for lack of tribulation. Any thoughts from anyone out there?

Today a customer came to me miffed because there seemed to be less room at the boardroom table than usual. So she asked "has the boardroom table shrunk?". I answered back "no, I'm pretty sure the table hasn't shrunk". Oh, the look on her face was priceless when she realised how stupid the question was. I love when people come to complain about stupid things.

I am a domestic goddess. Unstoppable! Today, I cleaned all the carpets in my house, with a carpet cleaner, not by hand, of course. But that thing is damned heavy, so the stairs were fun. I figured I wouldn't have to move much furniture on my day off, but no, I'm the furniture expert. I get to move it every day. I moved several rooms of it today (for carpet cleaning purposes, as well as for a barbeque). During this time, I was also able to play a game of badminton, and two games of volleyball.

Sorry to steal the thunder Holly, but I think I come out on top. If it seems like I did less, it's probably true, but I still win because, well, I'm a guy. You all know how I live, doing what I did more than fulfills my quota for cleaning for like a month, if not more. Holly's is maybe only a week's worth.

And, in good form, with this being my day off and all, I again woke up at 7:30am for no apparent reason.


"They took the credit for your second symphony.
Rewritten by machine and new technology,
and now I understand the problems you can see"

"Video killed the radio star.
Video killed the radio star.
In my mind and in my car, we can't rewind we've gone to far"

I am a domestic godess. Unstoppable! Yesterday I cleaned the kitchen, washed every blanket - by hand, made cinnamon buns - all of this after work. Today I have discarded almost half of my collection of clothes, washed more things by hand, am currently reorganizing/decorating my room and have possibly set up a new babysitting job - all of this before work. During this time I have been able to watch, what not to wear about four times, three men and a baby and royal tannunbaums. I am also impressed with my fantastic ear for music, being able to pick out Nick Drake and Nico on the soundtrack. Man she was terrible. Seriously, a model who sings like a drag queen? ugh. Need more coffee...

What better thing is there than sitting in the security office all by yourself, on a Friday night at 11pm, waiting for the ladies group downstairs (emphasis: ladies - the very word implies non-stop talking) to finish their bedtime snack so you can put the food away and leave? Tell me...what in life is better than that?

La la la. At least I still feel like singing. La la la. And did anyone else notice how beautiful of a night it is. And day too, for that matter. La la la.

Happy Genius Appreciation Week, fellow geniuses. Consider yourselves hugged. If you are not a genius do not consider yourself hugged. You will be hugged later during "Average, or less than Average, possibly even stupid level of intelligence appreciation week."

I was already having one of the best days of my life. Could life possibly get better? Thank you Rob. This is indeed, an honour.

Let me just say that it is such a joy to me to see us geniuses finally getting the recognition we deserve. Kudos to you Rob for declaring such a fine week. And congratulations Sara-Lynn on your award. And to Rob's speech I can only add a passage from my Graduation Write-Up in the Summit Pacific College 2004 yearbook:
"P.S. I am a genius."

There has been a lot of talk flying about lately concerning Geniuses and who they are, etc, and I believe (as my colleague Josh will agree) that such flippancy on the subject can only serve to undermine the natural order of things: that is, the domination of all others by we Geniuses.

To this end I, as a resident, self-confirmed Genius, declare this to be Genius Appreciation Week. I give joy to those who have previously declared their Geniusity (even when it was not always the popular thing to do) and hope that one day we can all be recognized as the truly groovy forms of life that we are. In addition to my declaration of this week as Genius Appreciation Week I hereby state that this tradition must be repeated each and every year, but only once every year, said celebration being marked mainly by a Fitting Speech from the dominant cultural Genius followed by the official naming of the Most Outstanding Achievement In The Field of Unnecessary Humbleness award winner.

To wit: the recipient of this first of many future awards is, as I'm sure my fellow Geniuses will agree, undeniably deserving. She is in fact none other than our own Sara-Lynn Freeman. Sara-Lynn, some beings are born with an awareness of their Genius, and some must have that awareness thrust upon them; you are truly one of the very groovy. Keep up the good Genius work.

Now it is time for the Fitting Speech and General Closing Comments of annual Genius Appreciation Week. I have the great honour this year of being the dominant cultural Genius, and as such I will close out the ceremony. The following is an entry from my personal journal, penned approximately one year ago, and seems today to be a decidedly timely and well-positioned piece of work:

"I know I’m a genius because of three simple facts that I’ve learned about past geniuses during my time on this sad earth that needs my help so badly. Firstly, I’m zany. All the geniuses that I’ve ever studied or heard of have had a high zaniness factor. Secondly, I generally have deep and profound thoughts when surrounded by other people. Small and large groups both will find me thinking of all kinds of things that would benefit them and their world. Some refer to this phenomenon simply as “zoning out”, but I prefer to use the more accurate description “deep and profound thinking”.

Thirdly, I have a singular skill that rises above the ability and comprehension of the modern human being. At this point in my young and productive existence, I believe I have pinpointed this almost supernatural talent – world domination. Yes, I believe I have a unique and valuable vision of the real world in which we live; an almost overpoweringly objective and all-encompassing view that enables me to handle all of the affairs of men with ease and panache. While it is true that most geniuses’ extraordinary skills exhibit themselves early on in childhood, I believe that the late realization of my true talents stems from the fact that there is no real consciousness in society of the need for world dictatorship. Because of this, I never truly had a conscious societal model into which to project my rare abilities.

Also, taking into consideration the planet Earth’s present unreadiness to adopt this form of government, I estimate myself to be approximately two-hundred years ahead of my time, which also makes me pre-cogniscient. Hopefully someone else as gifted as me will come along when the world is ready to acknowledge world domination’s superiority as a form of government."

Thank you.