The Legoland Convention

So here's what I was thinking. Well, we spent a few days away at a cabin/cottage in the middle of nowhere (literally!). And it was totally nice being away, not having any time restraints and having nothing that had to be done. I thought to myself how easy it would be to live that simply all the time. To detach from the hustle and bustle of busyness. That is something that I used to think I want. But as I thought about it more, I don't think that is what I want. Christians should not be isolated from the world around. How much more meaningful is it to live lives the same as the people around us, and spread God's light in everything we do. I think that's what Jesus really wanted. For me though, sad as it is, this is not what comes naturally. It's a lot easier to separate myself and remain surrounded only by other Christians. It's all I've really ever known. But I don't want it anymore! I used to picture myself doing "full-time ministry" and giving up my whole life to serve others. And now I see it in a whole new light. I want to serve others with everything in me. But I think I can do that while living my life too. I almost think that would be more effective...People don't want to see Christians living these "holier than thou" lives. They want to see people who are real. People who live "normal" lives, but do everything unto the Lord. That's what I want to do. So, yeah. Just a thought.

Oh yeah, something else. You know how they tell you that when you have a problem with someone you should always talk about it? ("they" being the smart people out there telling us what to do). Well, I don't think I agree. Like, if there is no solution to the problem, like if it's not something that can be changed, why tell the person that you have a problem? I understand that if the problem can be remedied it is good to talk about. But like, someone came to me telling me about a problem they have with me that is something that is just not going to change. And the problem is from their side, not from mine. So, what am I supposed to do? Because now I know that I am bothering that person whenever I do this...but it's not going to change. Basically, I am annoyed. And I've decided not to counsel people to always talk to the person they have a problem with, unless they know something can and should be changed.

So, that's me for now.

Only 30 days till my birthday...

Damn Scots, they ruined Scotland.

I was remembering this morning.

A few years ago I learned how to sing "Be Thou My Vision" in Gaelic [Irish,not Sccottish]. I was pretty proud of myself because the pronounciation is really difficult. I still didn't do it well, but it sounded at least somewhat like it. Anyways, I called my dad to sing it to him, but he wasn't home so I left it on his machine. Later that week I went over to his house. I found a tape with my name on it by his CD player. He had rigged up his old old tape player that had a mic that could tape voices and taped it off of his answering machine.

I don't always talk about that side of him. But its there.

I am a cheese snob.
Here are some cheese rules to remember:
1. Aged is almost always better.
2. Imported is better than local, unless you're dealing with a cheese that is local in origin. For example, Canada and the US are known for, among other things, their cheddar cheeses. Quebec has some specialty cheeses as well. But generally, if you want a good gouda or brie, it's best to go with the import.
3. Sharp is better than mild. This rule always applies to cheddar. Other cheeses may vary.

So, just thought I'd give you all some basic guidelines.
Remember, Dairyland rules.

Well I'm finally going to write about whistling. That's right: whistling. Specifically how annoying it is when you start whistling some jiffy tune but then someone in the room thinks it's suddenly okay to unleash their inner whistler so they start whistling OVERTOP of me. Oh I hate that! I mean I understand the urge to be creative when creativity is on display in front of you (like how I only really want to play guitar or saxophone when I see or hear someone else doing it) but I'm not a vampyre.....we're supposed to squash that urge until the appropriate moment. That moment is a jam, some sort of co-operative endeavour, or maybe a legitimate competition. People are not supposed to go around stealing other peoples spontaneous expressionary moments. It's just wrong!! Hear me when I say I'm going to stand up for my right to be original from now on. Don't just think you can hang out with me and try to get away with wrecking my joy by pretending it's flattery! I won't buy it! Go whistle somewhere else! Somewhere where someone isn't already whistling. Yeah.

I'd just like to say:
-Kissing...ugghhh;
-Elliot, Dan, T.S. Elliot.

Since its Valentine's Day I thought I'd do a kissing blog
I don't know why I was thinking about it this morning, but I was [I of course forgot it was Valentines day, since I generally forget any day at any time].

Anyways, here's my kissing story.
I've never been comfortable with the whole idea of kissing - so up close, personal all that. And my experiences have been less than great and this is why...
I've found that guys that I end up kissing [there have not been many, by the way] have this way of thinking its all about them. This one time, a guy kissed me and I smiled. His reaction was..."What are you doing?!" I guess I was getting in the way of his master plan. So sorry for getting in the way of you kissing me buddy! Cause the thing was, I was smiling. Its what I usually do, being kissed or not. Here's what baffles me...I think its pretty adorable that someone would smile while being kissed. I might be biased, but shouldn't that be a bit of an ego booster? I'm pretty damn endearing. Too bad that he missed it, being so focused on himself. He thought he was being Casonova. Not charming.
So unfortunately my conclusion was that my experiences have been with selfish kissers who apparently have seen me as getting in the way of their groove. Man can I ever pick 'em. So anyways, now to find an unselfish guy.... Hope this blog wasn't too weird for you guys cause i'm posting it anyways hahaha....

Today was a cloudy day, but warm. Sometimes that's nice, but I miss the sun already.
Ever notice how in that Chris Rice song about the cartoons praising God, they all just say weird versions of "hallelujah"?
What's up with that? You'd think they'd come up with some original things to say, being cartoons and all.

Yes, it's pretty late.
So is Sunday.
Valentines day shall pass,
"Not with a bang, but a whimper."
That's from "The Hollow Man" by some modern, unhappy poet.

to my lost friends. you never gave me the chance
to say goodbye before you left this lonely planet.

“what ravages of spirit
conjured this temptuous rage
created you a monster
broken by the rules of love
and fate has led you through it
you do what you have to do…
every moment marked
with apparitions of your soul
i'm ever swiftly moving
trying to escape this desire
the yearning to be near you
i do what i have to do
a glowing ember
burning hot, burning slow
deep within i'm shaken by the violence
of existing for only you
i know i can't be with you
i do what i have to do

and i have the sense to recognize that
i don't know how to let you go”

-sarah mclachlan

Slynn, here is a happy poem for you:

My eyes are bulging,
My nose is runny
The birds are singing,
Why is it sunny?

People are crazy,
My mind feels so hazy,
My roommate's diagnosis:
"You're just too lazy!"

I'll jump out my window,
I'll fly to the moon!
I think I'd do anything
To get out of this room.

I need a break,
A change of address.
Or perhaps just a week
To hide out and rest.

And then I'll come back
With vengeance and wrath
To smite any peasant
Who dare cross my path.

That one's for you Slynn.
Get better soon.

Aaaahhhh!
I'm sick of being sick!
And I'm sick of stupid assignments that don't mean anything to me.
And I'm sick of people being everywhere and pushing in front of you to get food and taking way more than they need to and being downright rude.
And I'm sick of girls being girly.
And I'm sick of people asking you how you're doing and not caring what your answer is.
And I'm sick of not being able to find a place to be alone or even just a place to escape to at 6am when you're up coughing and you don't want to wake up your roommate.
Basically, I think I am ready for reading week!

i see myself in the mirror
is this really me?
i see myself so differently from the inside
i feel so much more...nebulous

on the outside i feel nothing but sharp pain
i seem harshly defined
light is so unkind to definite features
so unbeautiful

i'm full of hollowness
i can see it all so clearly
in the moments i'm able to look at myself
this never lasts long

the world is starting to turn again
it always starts turning again
but it was nice of it to stop for a few minutes
just for me

i am sitting in a coffee shop, my laptop on my knees.
comfortably nestled in a seat of softest leather i’m recumbent.
the warm, reassuring scent of coffee drifts around me.
a gentle, haunting banjo paints the night sky amongst a field of crickets.
that stops. the mood changes, only slightly.
more music, this time a guitar, rhythmic, soft, persistent.
someone sits on my right reading a book.
conversation wafts through the air with the imaginary smoke that i think should exist here.
a cappucino sits next to me, mostly full, looking content to remain as it is.
i felt tension, hoping this perfect reverie would never end.
now i can’t wait for something to happen.
one moment containing a thousand impressions, the briefest glimpse of something;
creation in a timeless aspect, a moment of eternal rest;
only visible in contrast with my busy life.