The Legoland Convention

Well, it's been an eventful couple of weeks for me: going to the Island, chilling with the Mo, a visit from the love-birds in Kelowna, the beginning of a reconciliation of a much-missed friendship, Melissa's birthday, and now, I'm going home for the long weekend. Hoping to catch some Jazz at the Festival (missed the free weekend in Gastown, but there's more at Granville Island), and helping my friend move to the place where he'll live when he's married in a couple of months.

All this business has helped me realize something very important: the world doesn't stop, it doesn't end. Something might happen, and it seems like your whole world is crashing down, but it isn't. It sounds insensitive, but the world doesn't wait for anybody. It's actually a good thing. If the world waited for me, then no one would get anywhere. Because of this, we must take courage, for tomorrow is a new day, an exciting, breath-taking adventure that God has laid out before us. Let's have the courage to walk in it, to wait for it, to live it when it comes.

Courage.


"I went down to houston
And I stopped in san antone
I passed up the station for the bus
I was trying to find me something
But I wasn't sure just what
Man I ended up with pockets full of dust
So I went on to cleveland and I ended up insane
I bought a borrowed suit and learned to dance
I was spending money like the way it likes to rain
Man I ended up with pockets full of cane"

"Oh my sweet Carolina
What compels me to go
Oh my sweet disposition"

My path as of late has been a winding one, taking me through what seems to me to be like a dark forest. The air doesn't stir with the wind, and the sun rarely reaches even the lowest canopy, let alone the ground where I walk. No life lives in these woods; it is a dark place, a dreadful place. The wildlife knew long ago that no one should live here, yet I have somehow stumbled my way here, and haven't known how to get out.

Hope is not dead, however. There is light ahead, and the love and prayers of friends have sustained me, even as God has provided them for me. It seems I have now reached a clearing in the forest, a place where the sun can shine and the wind can blow. It is a place of clarity and not fear. It is also a place of apprehension and of some anxiety, for I cannot live here forever, and I'm not out of the woods yet.

But for the moment, the crisis that I've been going through has abated. There are still steps that need to be taken. Reconciliation is not always easy, and I have also learned enough about myself that I cannot ignore the fact that I still need help, even though I feel better. But I do feel better, much better, and that is what is most important right now. I've started to regain some of those 30 pounds that I lost last month. I had a job interview at House of James that went for an hour and 40 minutes the other day. The steps to reconciliation and healing are now underway. The path through the forest seems a straight one, for now. There is purpose ahead. There is hope now that no longer flows on the whispering wind; it howls and shouts like it won't be ignored. It can't be ignored.

Thank you for all your patience. Your love and prayers have literally saved me, sustained me, held me up when I was drowning. Yesterday was a day where I finally touched some dry land, finally grasped a fallen limb as I cascaded over rapids in a river. I still need someone to haul me out, but for now I am safe, and the danger of lapsing back into the swirling chaos is much lessened, but not yet dead. I still need your prayers, I still need your patience, because I'm not out of the woods yet.

But enough about me. Yesterday was a great day for me, but today is a day to celebrate our much loved friend, Melissa Mowat. Psalm 3:3 says, "But you are a shield around me, O Lord." Melissa, you have been the shield that the Lord has given me. I cannot thank you enough. You have been surpassingly mature, invincibly resilient, and compassionate beyond both belief and compare. You've kicked my ass enough to get me through the choppy waters, and I'll never understand why or how I deserve to have your continued and unconditional friendship. May God's blessing be upon you, and if he grants you even half the blessing that you have been to me, then consider yourself surpassingly rich. Happy Birthday, Moey.

I will now sing you a song. I will sing it here on Legoland so that you don't have to hear my terrible crooning. Besides, it can double up as the post-ending lyrics. Nothing like striking two birds with but one stone.


"Stand in the place where you live
Now face North
Think about direction
Wonder why you haven’t before
Now stand in the place where you work
Now face West
Think about the place where you live
Wonder why you haven’t before"

So it recently came to my attention that one of my previous posts gave the impression that Moey's birthday is on June 26th. THAT IS NOT TRUE! The date of Moey's birthday is...TODAY! So HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOEY! Have a super great birthday and know that you are loved...and that I didn't actually forget what day your birthday was on. Have you guys heard the first song on the Bright Eyes c.d.? It is genious. So entertaining!
"We're going to a party...a birthday party...happy birthday darling..."
(or something to that effect)
I am currently in the process of drawing a picture of a building/animal that is eathing other building/animals. Don't ask!
And it is ridiculously early for me to be up posting on the internet.

So I take back everything I wrote in the last blog. There will be no celebration on Sunday, June 26th. Stupid, stupid work! Why can't things always go exactly the way I want them to!?!?!?!?
Anyways, on another note, come to Kelowna on July 16th. In Medias Res and other cool bands (perhaps even including the infamous Dan Kang) will be doing the show of the year. Maybe we can all celebrate then. Oh, and we may come to Abbotsford this weekend - like as in tomorrow. Alrighty!

So I'm finally blogging after about a million years. Yes what they say about Westbank guys is true - they are all hot and apparently required to wear sleeveless shirts. Not tank tops specifically, but shirts without the sleeves. I don't get it because it seems really chochy to me (sp?) but whatever.
Starbucks is in fact the greatest place to work and I have been heavily indoctrinated with the lifestyle. Howard Schulz our demi-god and we follow in his footsteps.
God is good and things are happening like crazy. Right now its as though I take one step forward into oblivion and a strong surface appears just as my foot is set down. This is so much so that my life has become surreal, as though I'm looking from the outside in.
I heartily agree with changes made on legoland and look forward to blogging on Autobot Matrix of Leadership. I also appreciate how it completely represents the nerdy obscurity of our group. ( As I wrote this last sentence I heard Andrew arguing with me in my head - "Its not obscure" Which of course evidences the nerdiness of him all the more. Nobody else has the entire Transformers memorized)

Anyways, I hope you're all doing well. Hopefully I'll actually have the internet sometime and will be able to blog more

In the spirit of celebrations . . .

July 1st. Celebrate the birth of a country. With some kind of event. I:n the Okanagan Valley. Be there. I will.

At least that's the tentative plan.

Sunday, June 26, 2005. Mark it down. The biggest bash of the year...okay, not as big as Dec. 30th, but still...BIG! Celebrating the birth of the coolest girl on the planet. Celebrating the future marriage of the coolest couple on the planet (hehe, just kidding, they only think they're the coolest). Celebrating the arrival of the coolest summer on the planet...err... Celebrating whatever you darn well want. The point is, BE THERE! Somewhere on the lower mainland of the province of British Columbia. Sometime later on in the day. That's all for now.

Blackwood, you're going to have to reinvite me to the Autobot Matrix of Leadership. The invite didn't work.

I went back and read the first month of posts. So good. I think so far this blog has been fulfilling its purpose. I never really had a specific idea of what purpose it would serve, but I vaguely imagined it as a place to share thoughts, be creative, and generally keep in touch with eachother. I think it's been good that way. If anyone has ideas on who else should be a member, feel free to let Andrew or me know.

Since I am not yet in the Autobot Matrix of Leadership, I will post this here. This is the first verse and chorus of the Minor Prophets' first song, "Eschatological Blues."

"I know the end is coming
or at least the end of me
I know you hate it
when I speak eschatologically
Don't hate me cause I'm lonely
I don't hate you cause you're sad
If we get together, the end might not be so bad

Hold me like Jesus is coming back
I won't ever let you down
If I go up, I'm taking you with me
Get you right out of this dead end town"

If I knew how to make a copyright symbol, I would do it here. I'll just trust noone steals these. But I've got my eye on you Slynn . . .

So, I made the new site. I must give credit where credit is due. I've been thinking about doing something like this for a while, but it never really clicked until I checked out Randominion a little while back. They have a parallel site for poetry and such. So, whoever came up with that idea over there, thank you. You have given substance to my vision.

Please, feel free to comment. At least for my entries. You can post praise and criticism equally. I would like your input, as I intend to write more and I would like to get better at it. I know the enjoyment is the most important part, but I know I'd enjoy it better if I was improving at the craft. Let me know how I can make it better, by adding or removing, or changing parts. Point out unclear aspects, or awkward sounding sentences, or, God forbid, typos, if you're up to it. This site really is mostly for me, as a personal favour to myself, but I want to make it open to other's as well, hence, making it parallel to Legoland.

Thank you for indulging me.


"Turn around, look at what you see,
In her face, the mirror of your dreams,
Make believe I'm everywhere, hidden in the lines
Written on the pages is the answer to our neverending story"

"Neverending story"

Here here Mr. Blackwood.

I do believe I agree with all your proposals. Although I would like to know who the proposed new member is. I'll call you or something though. Other than that, rock on. This is why I made you an administrator. Because I suck at the internet.

Good luck with job interview.

I have a job interview tomorrow sometime. The lady hasn't emailed me back with a time or place yet. I don't really want the job, but I shouldn't complain. It's some sort of labour job in a wood shop, doing cleanup and whatnot. But's it Monday to Friday, full-time, daytime, $10/hr. So yeah, I shouldn't complain. I hope I get a job somewhere else first. I'll ask if I can wait until the weekend is over before I accept or not, assuming they want to offer me a job right away.

As for my impatience, I have made decisions on my P.S.'s from yesterday. I will use everybody's input that I have received. That means it's up to me, and me alone. I value your input, but I am bored, so I will do something. I declare one person enough to be a quorum. Order! Order! I bring this meeting to order!

Article I - Comments.
I hearby move that we table this motion, allowing for further review. It can be taken up again at a later date.
Vote: All in favour: one. All opposed: none. Motion tabled.

Article II - New members
I hearby nominate a new member, who's name shall remain a secret until the proper trials and tests can be performed. No other nominations have been received. No vote necessary at this time.

Article III - Parallel blog
I hearby move to create a new space, affiliated with The Legoland Convention and all it's partners, officers, agents, lawyers, members, family members of said individuals, and any and all other persons connected to this site.
Name: TBA
Purpose: to isolate examples of creative writing (whether prose or poetry) from the otherwise personal correspondance of The Legoland Convention. This material is intended for both sites, so as not to corrupt the original blog; please post on both blogs. It is simply to provide extra attention on those items deemed creative writing.
Note: Please title all entries. Invitations to current Legoland Convention members are pending.
Vote: All in favour: one. All opposed: none. Motion passed.

Article IV - Blog protocol. Further study and input required. Answer pending.

Meeting adjourned!

To other business. I was reviewing my previous posts on Legoland for examples of creative writing I have shared with you. In doing so, I noticed that for the first few months, no song lyrics accompanied my posts. It was ugly. I actually recoiled for a moment, then considered adding some lyrics to cover my shame. Not that anyone is likely to go back so far into the Autobot Matrix of Leadership. I mean, seriously, there is a lot of accumulated wisdom in these pages, but as Alpha Trion said, if you go too far back, you may never come out again. I only barely escaped with the help of Optimus Prime, who happens to be Jewish, by the way. But seriously, the utter horror! The very idea that what is one of my most sacred traditions, one that I am well known for (well, not famous by any means, but known for by you), it is but a manufactured habit. The horror! The horror! The horror....


"Always running, snorting coke
Business men, they're still a joke
Business meeting for the best
Act like each other or be the last"

"A Business meeting"

I am looking forward to this weekend ≥ any other weekend ever. Partly because I get to leave Abbotsford, and the loneliness that ensues. Partly because the last time I was in Victoria, I was nine and did nothing but play lacrosse (I also had a stomach flu half the time, for those who wanted to know). Partly because I get to visit a friend of mine whom I seem to have neglected these past few months. Mostly because I'm stupid. On a side note, but a good one, I don't have to make the whole trek by myself.

I actually slept for like 8 hours last night. The night before, I went to bed at like 1 or 2am, and was awake by 3:30am. But it was a good day. I emailed a bunch of resumes, and handed out a few more. That doesn't seem like much, but lately, it's all I can do to get myself out of the house. It was the first sunny day in a while, and I almost asked a girl named Summer out to lunch. Impulsive is not a characteristic I'd use to describe myself, but lately, I'm crazy impulsive.

Here are the 6 things I learned this weekend:
1. Todd Bentley may have been raptured.
2. The kingdom of God is the kingdom of God.
3. They are going to be crazy busy at HoJ next week, and I might get to work there.
4. Dan was right. There are three kinds of people: farmers, truckers, and shoppers.
5. The kingdom of God is the kingdom of God.
6. The guy who leads Young Adults at my church was more nervous about calling me than I was about going to the meeting.
7. The kingdom of God is the kingdom of God.

I went to the Regent College website yesterday. Man, I miss school already. And not just our school, with all my friends and stuff, but school in general, especially since I don't know when I'll be able to afford to go. And the higher up you go, the more expensive it gets. What I really need to do is get married, so my wife can work and put me through school. Any volunteers?

I'm also really looking forward to starting work. I don't have a job yet, but I want one now. And not just because I really need one either. I realize that in my fragile nature, this is a high that will probably not last, but it's a nice break from all this frustration I've been living in.

Some things to pray for: With a sudden influx of money, I don't want to blow it. I already was too impulsive yesterday, and I know I owe a lot in long distance bills right now too. It also means I might starting eating a lot more, as in fast food. But I don't want that. And with all the weight I've lost lately, it might come as a big shock to my system. Like I said before, I've lost at least 20 pounds since school ended in stress and insomnia. I will check again tomorrow when I go mow the lawn at my Dad's.

I really like my new church, but I don't know anyone there really. I didn't make it to the young adults thing last night, and I won't be able to next week because I'll be in Victoria. I'm not good at meeting people unless I'm stuck with them somehow, like in a dorm, like I was stuck with all of you. Hahahah. Just kidding. Also, I have no idea how long I'll even be there. Will I leave Abbotsford in September? If I do, where will I go? The problem with living with students is, can I leave mid-semester? Because who are they going to find to move in for November?

As for September, who knows? I'm getting anxious about it already. There's a church I've been in contact with for a little while, and I really like the pastor. I really want to work with him. He said we'll wait until September, and keep in contact and pray about it in the meantime. In September, there are no promises. I know he'd love to have me onboard, but he feels guilty about not being able to pay me. I told him that if I go, I'd understand what I was getting myself into. Anyways, the long and short of that is, it looks like I might have a ministry position come September, one that I'd really enjoy, and really learn a lot from, which is what I really need right now. A steady mentorship and stable environment.

The problem is, the church is in North Vancouver. Not only is it expensive to live there, but I'd need a job outside of the church. And of course, it's North Van. That in itself brings a myriad of complications that I don't know what to do about. And from my side, anyways, the pastor knows nothing of this. Should I bring it up? I don't know. It's like this problem of mine doesn't only affect my internal life, but my external as well. If it doesn't get resolved, not only do I have all this stuff that has kept me down for so long, but I have nothing to really look forward to either. I'd be in complete limbo, and I know it happens to everybody at some point, but I am terrified of it. Absolutely petrified. I'm a simple man, really. And the few things I want, the few things I'd consider normal for every human being, they are always just beyond my grasp, like a carrot strung before my nose, making a fool out of me.

Anyways, I don't want to end this entry on a downer, because, for the time being anyways, I don't feel down. I really want to go for a skate, but the weather turned bad again. Oh well. Tant pis. Besides, I get to go to the Island for like 4 days! Now, what to do until then? Anyways, please keep praying, as I am still quite unwell and unsettled, though I seem to be doing better of late. Maybe I'll write something.

There! There's the upnote I've been looking for. If anyone hasn't read the blog The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster you should. It's genius. And the same author is beginning another one called Simon of Space. It's only 3 episodes in as of today, so you can easily catch up. This guy writes so well, it's inspiring. I like the idea of creative short prose. I like when I can write something even somewhat creative. I was pretty proud of my Why are you up? post from a few weeks ago. I only wish there was more where that came from. I need a muse. Or several. Any volunteers?


P.S. I am considering adding a comments section to this blog. I don't know if it's necessary, but it would clean up responses. Let me know what you think, because maybe the responses (even though they're really short) should be part of the main page. Also, I don't know if many people read this site apart from members, and I know a lot of members don't have a lot of time anyways to post here.

P.P.S. Is there anyone else we should consider adding to this site? Don't post names, but defintely email them to me or Donkers. I intend to use this site more, and my own less. Well, not less, but only for really, really important stuff. Otherwise, I'm trying to be transparent and open here as well.

P.P.P.S. I've considered starting a new blog for things like poetry, or short stories, and the like. But is it necessary? Will Legoland suffice? Let me know.

P.P.P.P.S. A question on blog protocol. Should all these P.S.'s go after the lyrics, or before? I wasn't sure.


"Yeah I got to work on time again this morning,
This old job is all that I got left,
And no one even noticed I'd been crying,
At least I don't have whiskey on my breath,
Yeah I think I'm gonna make it,
'Cause God won't make a mountain I can't climb."

"It's getting better all the time."

Vlackvood, your updates are always welcome. Anything to help change the inward turning habits is good. I want to come out there this weekend. Maybe with a different car. We shall see. I've been out carhunting like a madman.

HA, I'm going to call you soon. Probably tomorrow. I've been busy.

Later all.